February 2012
14 posts
FUCK EVERYTHING.
haha. what a teenager.
I'd rather be feeling than not at all.
I miss you all the time.
I can feel myself growing fonder. Remembering your nervous laugh, your stories, I used to think you were the cutest. But now that I’ve seen you in your home, comfortable, tired, yet smiling all the same without your glasses, I like to think I’ve seen a different side of you, and I can’t help but think of you differently. How easy it is to mistake your smiling gaze for love when...
Recently, I’ve completely forgotten myself. But rereading all of my past tumblr posts has helped tremendously. I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had the chance to pay attention to my internal self. And as you can very well tell from this disjointed array of words, my creativity as a writer has seen better days. However, my past posts have consoled me nonetheless.
Truth be told,...
How do you tell a story when you're busy living...
Oh. Today's Thursday. The week is already over.
Must art have a reason? A purpose?
What happened to expressing for the sole purpose of expressing? Why do intellectuals constantly require an analytical explanation for everything? Why do they look for practicality in everything they do? For them, there must always be a meaning behind things-a means to an end. And one cannot be simply curious. When we learn, we must promise to do something more with our newfound knowledge.
As for...
Is it strange to miss a city that I've never even...
San Francisco, I miss you.
HAPPY FUCKING VALENTINES DAY
A lot of pink and red envelopes arrived in the mail today. Even more came in covered with stickers of hearts and swirls or romantic sentiments. I’ve never hated my job sorting mail before. But this day was cutting out to be horrendous. As I put them in their designated boxes one by one, I kept telling myself that one day, one of those envelopes will be for me, and I’ll be able to...
Clubbing in NYC may be the best thing i've done...
Ditching class to write a paper for another class...
Why don't guys understand. All I really want is...
Currently developing a sincere hatred for the...
“It was heaven to abstain
And keep my sinful greed at bay;
But when my efforts...”
– Heinrich Heine
January 2012
28 posts
I don't want to do this. I don't want to read the...
“The less you are, the more you have; the less you express your own life, the...”
– Karl Marx
Dilemmas.
Don’t get me wrong I love my roommate. But I’m beginning to realize how much of my social life is devoted to her. And when she talks about our friends, I can’t help but feel that all this boy talk is like being in high school all over again. I think I’m missing out. And a little distance might be better. After all, I don’t think weekends should be all about...
“May the bridges I burn light the way.”
That ironic moment when you have to choose working...
First weekend of relaxation since coming to...
I didn’t realize how much I am always dependent on my roommate. When she wants to party, we party. When she wants to eat, we eat. When she’s bored, I drop my work and help her figure out her love life. It’s part of my personality being a doormat and honestly, I don’t really resent it. But when she sleeps, I love that I get to do whatever the hell I want. Maybe having a...
Stress is great...NOT
I didn't realize how much I missed singing jazz. ...
I'm really really REALLY excited to go back to...
But I’m also REALLY excited about the few days ahead.
Tomorrow, I am having a sushi lunch and then finally going hiking at Griffith Park with Yoonji.
Then, on sunday, my grandma is putting a kimono on me to commemorate me turning 20 this year. I can’t wait for the pictures!
In the meantime, I’ve met up with every single person I’ve wanted to meet this break. So I...
I've been wanting this tattoo for so long, I don't...
Maybe I’ll get it for my 20th birthday? It is a milestone after all. And I’m planning to make my 20’s the craziest decade of my life.
And then eventually, I’m gonna get a white ink tattoo of some pattern. That one can wait though.
I didn't do a great job of planning out my breaks...
Next year:
October Break: Visit Boston
Thanksgiving Break: NYC
Winter Break: Internship
Spring Break: Ski somewhere.
Summer: Internship/job?
....why the HELL did I go on Free People's...
At least I’m getting some good boho hair ideas. but oh lord they have every single article of clothing i could possibly want.
From now on, I will no longer be afraid of harming...
I'm going to Japan this summer no matter what!!!!!
The loneliness is relentless.
It’s interesting that while some cultures fear death and try to live in denial of its impending approach, others welcome it and commemorate those that have already joined its ranks.
In the meantime, I’m still here dredging in the unproductive cycle of huddling at home doing absolutely nothing. My former aspirations to go to Japan in the summer have taken a vacation as I drift from...
I want to go back to school where all the drama...
“You’re so beautiful.
You make me happy.”
– Who knew these words could actually come from a real person? Those actors in stupid romantic comedies never prepared me for this. They moved me. When his eyes are staring directly into yours and you know he means it, how do you keep yourself from believing it’s true? He loves you. And I never...
Lullaby for Helene [Quartet] by Bill Evans
When...
I want it to be different this time. I won't hurt...
December 2011
23 posts
“You’re weird…I love it”
I don’t know whether it was to time, to people, or to herself. All I knew was that I was losing her and I didn’t want to. As her body continued to tremble in my arms, I bid my limbs to clench tighter around this elusive shell, threatening to slip away.
“Stay with me?” she whispered desperately.
“Of course” an empty promise.
But even as I said those words,...
I wondered why I felt so sad, and then I...
Except for New Years Eve, I dread holidays for reasons I don’t even know. I just feel even lonelier than usual with all of the festivities. Last year’s cheerful holiday found me sifting through old cards from friends lost over time and clearing out the drawers in my room. This year was no exception. I said goodbye to another book character today. I really liked the Hunger Games. But...
I think I'm getting a B in all of my classes this...
At least I can say that I learned something…
When I get home I will:
Eat.
Drive. a lot.
buy black boots
buy more clothes
read. a lot.
think about matt. a lot.
go to korean bbq with Karen and Yoonji and Grace
take lots of pictures with Grace
hang out with Moki
Play piano
Create my resume so I can apply for that summer job in japan
visit old friends
That huge "what if"
I can’t help it. I need to find out. Would you accept this heart of mine? I don’t want to miss this opportunity!