It’s interesting that while some cultures fear death and try to live in denial of its impending approach, others welcome it and commemorate those that have already joined its ranks.

In the meantime, I’m still here dredging in the unproductive cycle of huddling at home doing absolutely nothing. My former aspirations to go to Japan in the summer have taken a vacation as I drift from hanging out with one friend to another. And as relaxing as it has been, I’m eager to return to my more productive lifestyle at college. 

Interestingly enough, one of my old friends just told me last night that this is the most direction he’s witnessed me having in my life.  I wouldn’t actually agree with this observation since he’s a little too self-immersed to make any accurate judgements about others, but I can’t deny that I feel happy right now.   In fact, I think I can finally call my search for identity a thing of the past.  Why go about trying to identify yourself when you’re constantly changing? From now on, I’m going to continue learning when to pursue something and when to let it go.  After all, I would never want to be like Sam who doesn’t seem to be able to let go of his expectations for life.  What’s the use of living without surprises?

Being at Vassar has opened my eyes in more ways than one.  And while I used to be afraid that changing myself meant losing myself, it’s not so bad when you’re changing for the better. I still love books. I still love writing.  And with this growing confidence, I know that I will find more things to love.